


Stray Chirren

by SKZplayer



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Comedy, Crack, Everyone Is Gay, M/M, Memes, Mild Language, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 00:15:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21065558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SKZplayer/pseuds/SKZplayer
Summary: Evil: ISTG IF 3RACHA DOESNT STOP ARGUING ON WHO HAS THE BIGGEST DICK SIZE I WILL LEAVE THE RECORDING STUDIOBear: Excuse meBear: w h a t11/10: I-Binniefanboy: I bet its Changbin HyungBear: Felix what the fuck





	1. Who's packing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chan: Aussie#1  
That guy: Bear  
Minho: SexyThot  
Changbin: Binnie  
Hyunjin: 11/10  
Jisung: Annoying  
Felix: Binniefanboy  
Seungmin: Evil  
Jeongin: Maknae<3
> 
> Skip to chapter 4 to avoid that onė dûde
> 
> This is everyones chat names:))  
Also I'm just assuming they chat on Facebook Messenger or sumn

Stray Chirren

Evil: ISTG IF 3RACHA DOESNT STOP ARGUING ON WHO HAS THE BIGGEST DICK SIZE I WILL LEAVE THE RECORDING STUDIO

Bear: Excuse me

Bear: w h a t

11/10: I-

Binniefanboy: I bet its Changbin Hyung

Bear: Felix what the fuck

Maknae<3: LaNguAGe

Sexythot: not in a relationship my ass

SexyThot: also Changbin is a fetis, I’ve seen Jisung,

11/10: disgusting?

SexyThot: and its defiantly not him, obviously it is Chan.

Evil: gross gross gross, I don’t need to know this about my hyungs

Binniefanboy: then leave the chat this is an important debate.

Evil: aight imma head out

Binnie: How do you know how big I am,

Binnie: for all you know I could be packing.

SexyThot: yeah, sure.

Bear: can we please stop talking about dicks on our main chat??

Binniefanboy: no.

Bear: alright Jeongin, log out for a while

Maknae<3: Hyung I’m not a child

Bear: do I care?

Maknae<3: fine.

Bear: good maknae:))))

11/10: how does woojin manage to be so sweet but hold so much power at the same time?

Aussie#1: Woojin God

Binniefanboy: CHAN HAS ENTERED THE CHAT

Binniefanboy: we can really get this discussion moving>:)

Aussie#1: we still on dick sizes?

Bear: Chan, why are you getting involved in this

Aussie#1: Because I’m here to prove a point, and you need to back me up, being my boyfriend and all.

11/10: gross I don’t what to know about everyones sex life

SexyThot: thats a lie

11/10: I feel attacked

Annoying: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN START THE DEBATE?! I’M APART OF THIS AS WELL?

Binniefanboy: 1. I totally forgot you existed ahahahaha

Annoying: I’m literally your twin, your main bro, how could you do this to me

Binniefanboy: 2. Minho already told us you’re disqualified 

Annoying: what does he know?

SexyThot: Idkk… maybe for starters… I’m your boyfriend??

SexyThot: you’re not exactly a top sweetie

Binnie: KJSHDSKJGHERU

Binnie: EXPOOOOOSED

Binniefanboy: MINHO EXPOSED UR ASS LMAO

Annoying: Minho, I can’t believe you’ve done this

SexyThot: love you<3333

Annoying: sure. I’m gonna go sulk by myself and be miserable 

Binniefanboy: drama queen much?

11/10: watch him be over it in 2 minutes

Annoying: stfu

Aussie#1: Alright, so Jisung has been disqualified, that leaves Binnie and I

Binniefanboy: get the measuring tape out

Bear: fuck no.

Binniefanboy: k, then let them bang it out

Bear: F U C K NO

Binniefanboy: Well hyung, if you really wanted to be apart of it you can just ask for a threesome

Bear: prepared to get ur ass beat

Binniefanboy: KJFHRFGHEIURFHEIURGHIE

Annoying: AHAHAHAHAKDH

Maknae<3: ….uh guys

Maknae<3: Why Is Woojin hyung chasing Felix with his guitar?

Aussie#1: BABE THAT GUITAR WAS EXPENSIVE

Aussie#1: DON’T HIT HIM TOO HARD I DONT WANT IT TO BREAK

Binniefanboy: GEE THANKS HYUNG I APPRECIATE IT

Evil: maybe after he’s done beating you he’ll sing you a song

11/10: blessed by the Woojin God vocals

Binniefanboy: I;M NOT GONNA SURVIVE HES FUKIN PISSED

Binniefanboy: JDKEHWHFI

Binnie: Woojin please don’t kill him:((

Bear: can’t promise anything

Binnie: pleeeeeeeeeease

Bear: fine. 

Bear: only because it would be a shame if Changlix never happened.

Bear: But that doesn’t stop him from getting the final whoop, get over here boy

Binniefanboy: NUUUUUUUUU

Bear: also Chan has the biggest dick size so stfu about it

Binnie: I-

11/10: Wow u really must be fed up

SexyThot: congrats chan, u won

Binnie: BUT HOW DO YALL KNOW?? 

Aussie#1: Just trust me on this one mate

SexyThot: ok, but the real question,

SexyThot: is Woojin God bigger than Chan??

Annoying: obviously we can get an answer from y’all

Aussie#1: haha, well I’m actuallykjsdhkf

Evil: ???

Aussie#1: hi, this is Woojin. I tackled Chan to the floor and took his phone

Aussie#1: this will not be discussed any further, or you’ll end up like Felix:)))

Binniefanboy: I’m in so much pain

Aussie#1: stop being so dramatic it wasn’t that bad

Binniefanboy: LIES. I HURT. VERY BAD.

Binniefanboy: I’m afraid the only thing that will make me feel better is snuggles from a certain dark midget:)

Binnie: rude

Binnie: but yeah sure

11/10: I WANT CUDDLES

11/10: SEUNGMINNIE CUDDLE ME

Evil: no

11/10: :(((( please??? If not Ill have to crash Changlix snuggle session

Binnie: absolutely not.

Maknae<3: I’ll cuddle you hyung :DD

11/10: INNIEEEEE

Evil: ….

11/10: you can still join us minnie

Evil: no, I’m fine

Maknae<3: pleeeease??? ╥﹏╥

Evil: fine…

Maknae<3: YYAYAY

11/10: :DDD

Bear: alright, goodnight everyone Im gonna go force Chan to sleep:)

Aussie#1: AHA Insomnia rests for NO MAN

Bear: You forget sweetie, im no man, Im Woojin God

Aussie#1: ah shit, you got me there

Maknae<3: goodnight hyungs<3

Aussie#1: night Innie

Stray Chirren

Aussie#1: What?

Aussie#1: ur not coming to my tea party????!

Aussie#1: BETHANY. I MADE 

Aussie#1: B I S C U I T S

Bear: for fucks sake ITS THREE AM CHAN GO TO SLEEP

Aussie#1: sorry


	2. The Tiny Meat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is basically me just putting a bunch of youtube references in one chapter

Stray Chirren

Annoying: Ahem, so I’ve got a question for Mr. Lee Minho

SexyThot: ???

Annoying: WHAT THE FUCK MAN

SexyThot: I-

SexyThot: HUH?

Annoying: WHOS THE GIRL?? 

Annoying: I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE

Annoying: NOW U AND HYUNJIN ARE COMPETEING OVER THISS GIRL?@?!

11/10: Are you talking about THE MUSIC VIDEO?

11/10: THAT ISN’T REAL?

11/10: YALL KNOW IM LITERALLY THE GAY KING

SexyThot: excuse me?? I BEG TO DIFFER?

Annoying: SHUT U P. THIS IS ABOUT   
M E

Binniefanboy: Yeah Minho, what happened to kissing the homies goodnight >:(

SexyThot: Y’all KNOW kissing the homies goodnight is a health code violation with COVID going around, I AINT GETTING SICK

Aussie#1: VIOLATION OF THE BRO CODE, WTF DUDE

Aussie#1: UR SUPPOSED TO RISK IT ALL FOR THE HOMIES

Bear: Even I see that as a bit shameful, Minho

SexyThot: WHAT ???? YOU??? WOOJIN???

SexyThot: also: where did you go??

Bear: we don’t talk about that

SexyThot: oh,,,, ok,,,,,

Bear: A NYWAYS

Bear: Jisung, you were saying?

Annoying: MY BF GOT THE HEART EYES FOR THIS GIRL, IM OVER HERE NOT EVEN GETTING GOODNIGHT KISSES FROM HIM, WHAT THE FUCK

SexyThot: Jisung, its a Music Video, calm down. U know ur my only hoe

Annoying: DAMN STRAIGHT

11/10: nah she low-key kinda fine tho

Maknae<3: I thought you were, ‘the gay king’????

11/10: Hey, if someones attractive, then why not? Y’know?

Maknae<3: u make no sense hyung

Binnie: Well, moving onto ANOTHER crisis,,

Binnie: Felix has done a ridiculous amount of impulse shopping while in quarantine

11/10: oooooh, what’d he buy??

Binnie: so far, he’s bought every EXO album, new shoes, 10 pairs of earrings, and most recently, a Schlatt.Co shirt???

Binniefanboy: I watch a lot of Youtube ok?? And the money went to CHARITY

Aussie#1: You do realize you’ll never be able to wear that in public, right?

Binniefanboy: yes, its for my own PERSONAL ENJOYMENT

Evil: I’ll never understand all the youtubers you watch,

Bear: honestly though, theres so many you, Jisung and Chan watch.

Maknae<3: I think TMG is kind of funny, even though I don’t know what they’re saying 80% of the time…

Aussie#1: KSJFDKJGK

Aussie#1: WHO LET JEONGIN WATCH TMG?

Annoying: we were watching Thats Cringe and he just walked in ok??? Its not like he could understand most of whats being said

Maknae<3: except I know all my English swears thanks to Channie,

Aussie#1: ……

Bear: c h a n

Aussie#1: I get frustrated sometimes, ok?

Maknae<3: guys, I’m 19, please,

Aussie#1: BACK TO TMG, 

Aussie#1: WHAT THATS CRINGE DID YOU LET HIM WATCH

Binniefanboy: donttellhimdonttellhimdonttellhimdonttellhim

Maknae<3: I think it was called, “you”???

Aussie#1: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS 

Aussie#1: YOU DONT HAVE TO UNDERSTAND ENGLISH TO KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THE VIDEO U FUCKERS

Maknae<3: once again, I’m 19, I think I’m fine,

Aussie#1: NAH IMMA BEAT UR ASSES GET OVER HERE

Annoying: NOOOOGODGKGJHGKT

SexyThot: op- there goes my boyfriend

Binnie: I’m so confused, whats Thats Cringe, and whats You??

Evil: you really don’t want to know

Maknae<3: it was funny though…

Evil: holy shit Felix’s SCRRREEEEAM

Binnie: for some who’s voice sounds like it been forged from the depths of hell, his scream really shouldn’t be that high pitched

Bear: what is Chan doing to my children

Evil: ‘beating their asses’ for letting Jeongin watch Thats CringeBear: mm, serves them right

Maknae<3: GUYS. I’M AN ADULT, I CAN MAKE CHOICES

Bear: yes sweetie, we know

Bear: But TMG is just- too much

Binniefanboy: LIES. BOTH OF THEM ARE COMEDIC GENUISES

11/10: how are you texting while running for your life?

Binniefanboy: ITS CALLED MULTI TASKING, LEARN ABOUT IT YOU ONE TASKING FUCKER

11/10: I-

Bear: what else are you guys watching?

Annoying: hhh, theres a lot…

Annoying: for STARTERS

Annoying: theres, Pewdiepie, Callmecarson, WillNE, iDubbbz (RIP), Jschlatt, Ted Nivison, Danny Gonzalez, 2Danny2furious, Drew Gooden, Kurtis Conner, Memeulous, Slimciccle, Traves, Misfits, James Charles, Jacksepticeye, Cody Ko, Noel Miller, Hugbox, Cscoop, James Marriot, ImAlexx, Mr.Beast, iNabber, Kwite, Jawsh, Swaggersouls, Anthony Padilla, Quackity, Cherdlys, Wilbur Soot, Trevor Wallace, Mike’s Mic, MacDoesIt, Pyrocinical, aksually, Shane Dawson, Ryan Trahan, Tom Harlock

SexyThot: Holy FUCK dude,

Annoying: thats for starters,

SexyThot: get a life, would you?

Annoying: You are my life<3333

SexyThot: awwww<333333333

Evil: g r o s s

Binniefanboy: 2Danny2furious and Danny Gonzalez are literally the same person

Annoying: SHUT

11/10: you watch James Charles?

Binniefanboy: H E Y S I S T E R S

Annoying: he’s fabulous, don’t even lie

11/10: ur right, I’d date James Charles

Aussie#1: same

Bear: CHAN

Aussie#1: I’M SOR RY

11/10: y’all got weird taste in youtubers

Annoying: OUR TASTE IS ELITE DON’T EVEN LIE

Binniefanboy: NOW IF YOU WOULD EXCUSE US WE NEED TO LISTEN TO THE LATEST LUNCH CLUB AND TMG PODCAST EPISODES

Aussie#1: OOP- HOL UP IM COMING

SexyThot:…there goes my boyfriend

Bear: now while those three are distracted for a few hours,

Bear: we can talk about how we should get Felix and Changbin together

Binnie: ??????

Binnie: I DIDNT GO WITH THEM YKNOW

Evil: LMAOOOO

Bear: whoops,

Bear: Changbin, go listen to lunch club with the boys

Binnie: you motherffs, tryna talk about me and my main home boy BEHIND MY BACK

11/10: main home boy… wow

Binnie: S H UT

Maknae<3: seriously hyung, just say you like him its not that hard

Binnie: bye imma go learn what TMG is,

Bear: it stands for Tiny Meat Gang,

Binnie: never mind.

SexyThot: CHANGBIN IT WAS MENT FOR YOU

Binnie: MOTHER FUCKER THATS 100000% PERCENT INCORRECT IM GONNA BEAT U UP

SexyThot: GOOD LUCK TRYING WITH UR SHORT ASS

Binnie: UR DEAD

Evil: mmm I love the screams of the not-so-innocent

11/10: Minho does realize Changbin’s built like a god, right?

Maknae<3: I’m sure he knows now based off his screeches,

Bear: my families a disaster

Maknae<3: we love you hyung<33

Bear: sigh

Stray Chirren

Aussie#1: you may be verified on twitter

Aussie#1: but are you verified, in the eyes of GOD?

Bear: go the fuck to bed Christopher


	3. conk creat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahem, so in this chapter I've changed all their names, ehehe  
I'm also not telling you who is who because that ruins the fun.  
(don't worry i will reveal them in the chapter)  
anyways, enjoy this mess

STRAY CHIRREN

thats conk creat baby took away admin privileges from everyone

dildo swaggin: who the fuck is that, and why is that your name

dildo swaggin: WHAT DID YOU DO

dildo swaggin: JI I KNOW ITS YOU, TURN MY NAME BACK

my heart can’t take this damage: lmao dildo swaggin

my heart can’t take this damage: wait no

my heart can’t take this damage: why.

dildo swaggin: who the fuck is ‘thats conk creat baby’

thats conk creat baby: take a wild guess

thats conk creat baby: hint: I’m not jisung

dildo swaggin: felix i swear to god

the passion of christ is my favorite anime: bro its not me

the passion of christ is my favorite anime: oh my god

thats conk creat baby: do you not like it?

the passion of christ is my favorite anime: no,

the passion of christ is my favorite anime: i love it, please don’t change it

thats conk creat baby: i assumed so

dildo swaggin: please, who are you,

my heart can’t take this damage: why have you changed our names with no hope of changing them back

Big Papi: Chan. I know you were on your phone all last night snickering to yourself

the passion of christ is my favorite anime: BIG PAPI

the passion of christ is my favorite anime: PLEASE TELL ME ITS WOOJIN

Big Papi: sigh, yes.

dildo swaggin: chan, did you really do this?

thats conk creat baby: surprise bitch

my heart can’t take this damage: oh my god.

the passion of christ is my favorite anime: KING

kawalski: wait whats my name

kawalski: oh come on chan, thats an old one

thats conk creat baby: its funny though

kawalski: tru

bob the tomat: i’ve been watching this whole time but i’ve been too scared to see what my name is

bob the tomat: good lord

Big Papi: why exactly did you do this Chan?

thats conk creat baby: i decided if i turned you all into my favorite memes it would make things a lot more interesting 

the passion of christ is my favorite anime: he’s right.

dildo swaggin: ok the problem is i don’t know who anyone is

Big Papi: NAME SOUND OFF

Big Papi: EVERYONE GET ON HERE

Big Papi: its Woojin.

thats conk creat baby: Chan, homie

dildo swaggin: why do i have to be dildo swaggin

dildo swaggin: unfortunately it is i, Minho

kawalski: you mean fortunately 

kawalski: that name is epicc

my man: uhh, Changbin?

my man: what does this even mean?

my heart can’t take this damage: Hyunjin.

my heart can’t take this damage: i really want to know the story behind this one

thats conk creat baby: hold up, ill send it to you.

my heart can’t take this damage: oh god, please chan what the hell is that

thats conk creat baby: AHAHAHA

the passion of christ is my favorite anime: please show me later

thats conk creat baby: will do

kawalski: anyways,

kawalski: its Jisung, the outdated meme

thats conk creat baby: SHUT-

the passion of christ is my favorite anime: felix.

the passion of christ is my favorite anime: also let it be known i have the best name

thats conk creat baby: i chose it just for u bro

the passion of christ is my favorite anime: <3

Big Papi: lord.

bob the tomat: Seungmin.

bob the tomat: couldn’t add an ‘o’

thats conk creat baby: no.

everything is cake: uhm, Jeongin?

the passion of christ is my favorite anime: fuck.

the passion of christ is my favorite anime: everything really is cake.

kawalski: ok but chan really do be packing that CAKE

kawalski: why aren’t you everything is cake?

thats conk creat baby: because conk creat

bob the tomat: isn’t that the meme with the poorly photoshopped cat?

thats conk creat baby: YES

thats conk creat baby: HOW DID YOU KNOW

bob the tomat: because when you first found it you sent it to everyone in your contacts

the passion of christ is my favorite anime: lmao, yeah you did

my heart can’t take this damage: but Jeongin being the cake, did you see that booty pop?

dildo swaggin: lmao tru

everything is cake: don’t underestimate me

my man: ok, but Chan, explain

thats conk creat baby: you know the horse meme where he’s standing on the beach looking out to the sea and it just says ‘man’?

my man: yes, i lost my shit i was crying laughing

thats conk creat: well i found a edited version with a poorly photoshopped in hand emoji and another horse and it says ‘my man’

Big Papi: what is up with you and poorly photoshopped memes?

the passion of christ is my favorite anime: they’re so funny

my man: PLEASE SEND

everything is cake: and he’s dead

the passion of christ is my favorite anime: ITS SO FUNNY

bob the tomat: i will never understand.

my heart can’t take this damage: our names are so long, this is exhausting

thats conk creat baby: get used to it. its funny.

dildo swaggin: pl ease

thats conk creat baby: don’t worry ill change your names when i find a new meme i like

thats conk creat baby: mwahahahaha

Big Papi: he has too much power

my man: where do you Jisung and felix find these things anyways?

the passion of christ is my favorite anime: the dark web

thats conk creat baby: HAVE YALL SEEN ME AND FELIX’S ‘WEIRD SHORT CLIPS’ PLAYLIST ON YOUTUBE?

Big Papi: oh no.

the passion of christ is my favorite anime: OUR PROUDEST CREATION

thats conk creat baby: some of them are more well known like, ‘pound that starscream’ but some of them were found on the dark side of youtube

kawalski: send.

Thats conk creat baby: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMDUxkcU4JjfDXJwg76IXcMiQL6I6oZRO

bob the tomat: oh no

my man: LMAOOOO HOW TO SPOON

the passion of christ is my favorite anime: DICK HARD ON THE BUTT

my man: TITTY IN MY HAND

the passion of christ is my favorite anime: HE LL YEAH

everything is cake: hyung, whats happening

Big Papi: Jeongin, just don’t go to the link

everything is cake: i’m going to the link

Big Papi: Jeongin no.

everything is cake: Jeongin yes.

dildo swaggin: Jisung is currently passed out on the floor from laughter

my man: which video?

dildo swaggin: thats you

kawalski: ITS SO FUNNY

dildo swaggin: its a fever dream.

thats conk creat baby: i spent so much time on it

Big Papi: is this what you do in your office all day?

thats conk creat baby: not all day,

thats conk creat baby: but yes.

dildo swaggin: you’re so brilliant in so many fields

dildo swaggin: but then you do things like this and i start to question you

thats conk creat baby: idk what you’re talkin about, this IS talent

everything is cake: you’re right hyung, its amazing

thats conk creat baby: thanks innie, 

everything is cake: I’m a personal fan of ‘corn’

kawalski: a classic.

my heart can’t take this damage: my ears just got raped from the mcdonalds big mac fortnite sneaker

the passion of christ is my favorite anime: I FORGOT ABOUT THAT ONE

Big Papi: MY INTEREST HAS BEEN PEEKED

my man: BIG MAC FORTNITE SNEAKER

kawalski: don’t listen to it above the second volume

my heart can’t take this damage: oh my god is that mcdonalds porn?

bob the tomat: oh now i have to watch all these

thats conk creat baby: a beautiful creation

dildo swaggin: that single video drained everything i have

dildo swaggin: i need to take a nap and get away from dildo swaggin

thats conk creat baby: goodnight my beautiful son

dildo swaggin: goodnight deranged grandpa

thats conk creat baby: rude, but fair.

Big Papi: i’m heading out as well, 

Big Papi: night

bob the tomat: nighttttt

my heart can’t take this damage: love you all<3333

everything is cake: <333

STRAY CHIRREN

thats conk creat baby: OBJECTS I’VE SHOVED UP MY ARSE

Big Papi: Chan.

Big Papi: Bed.

thats conk creat baby: understood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you know, you know
> 
> also follow me on twitter and instagram, both of those are  
@bangnialdo


	4. FUCK that guy

Thats conk creat baby banned Big Papi

Thats conk creat: fuck that guy.

The passion of christ is my favorite anime: agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyways, man-who-shall-not-be-named won't be joining my stories anymore.
> 
> AND, i felt like my last chapter was fucking hilarious, but i realize thats because i'm the only one who gets my dumb references that are saved on my phone, and if i could figure out how to put pictures in these dumb stories (i KNOW it can be done I'm just fucking stupid.) then i feel it would be a lot funnier, lmao.  
But this chat is for my own enjoyment if I'm feeling stressed, so, idk man.
> 
> Needless to say, people didn't enjoy the last chapter:/ oh well
> 
> LOVE Y'ALL!!

**Author's Note:**

> I'll do this whenever I have free time in the middle of my bigger stories,
> 
> Please leave feedback on what you'd like to happen, predictions, ideas... Anything makes me super happy:DDD


End file.
